In this issue...

Welcome
Reasons
The Art of Disagreeing
New Rules for Dating
Humor
Interesting Facts
The Best Day of My Life

Reasons by Leon Shepherd

There are two factors that determine whether or not you will achieve your goals. (1) Do you have enough reasons why you want the goal? (2) Are your reasons strong enough to achieve the goal? When you have a goal that you want to achieve, you must have reasons. Just like you have reasons for getting your hair done, going to the store, staying in shape, reading this newsletter, etc., you must have reasons to be successful in life. Reasons are the why we do what we do. Reasons will remind you of the personal benefits and what you'll gain from your hard work. They will keep you focused on the positive, and they'll help overcome obstacles and challenges. I've found that the majority of people fall short of their goals do so because they have few and weak reasons. Your reasons must be strong and if possible numerous to keep you motivated until you reach your goal. To stand up to challenges you must be personally invested in your goal. You need to know in your heart why you want this, and what it means to you. Your reasons are the backbone of your success. And it is the strength of those reasons that will help you overcome challenges and obstacles. One exercise you might try is to write down your goals. Then write at least 2 reasons why you want each goal. Remember, the stronger the reason, the stronger the focus and the faster you'll achieve! Try to review your goals and reasons every day. This daily habit will keep you focused and motivated! For you Earth, Wind & Fire fans, listen to the song, Reasons, on the cd, That's The Way Of The World.

1. MAKE THE FIRST MOVE AND ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
You're a Sister who knows exactly what you want-and there he is, the bow-legged Brother with the sun-kissed skin and the smooth bald head. You look him over. Nice shoes (He's employed). Pressed pants (He cares about his appearance). No ring on the wedding finger (Hallelujah!). He's reading a book and enjoying a cup of coffee, obviously all alone.

But what will you do? You want to be bold, but that little seed of self-doubt is steadily growing into a beanstalk and you can't help but think: "What if he turns me down?"

The most effective way to introduce yourself to a potential date is to be respectful and courteous. Keep your introduction tasteful. If that person is uninterested, don't beg, linger or be insulting: instead, make a quick and graceful exit and move on.

2. TAKE THE INITIATIVE: JOIN A SINGLE'S NETWORK
Organized networking is another prime outlet to meet singles.

Real live singles' gatherings are happening all around the country - and some computer-savvy singles are meeting new people in the virtual chatrooms over the Internet. If you're into virtual dating, experts advise that you protect yourself and your privacy by not giving personal information that could lead a cyber stalker to your front door. Always follow your gut instinct about a person, and check references before agreeing to meet the person face-to-face. And always choose a public meeting place.

Singles know that good prospects can also be found at various seminars (i.e., for first-time home buyers, money management, etc.) and conventions. Contact your city's tourism bureau for a complete listing of conventions that are coming to town, and attend the seminar that might attract the kind of mate that you are looking for.

3. IF YOU ASK FOR THE DATE, YOU PAY THE TAB.
In the past, if a man slid the dinner bill across the table on the first date, he is considered a tightwad at best or a moocher at worst. And years later, if a woman picked up the tab, she was considered independent, but perhaps a little too independent for some of her old-school dates.

But today, things are quite different. Whoever asks for the date should pay for the date.
If men pay for the first date, they shouldn't become the proverbial meal ticket.

If you're both working and making the same amount of money, the man shouldn't pay for every single date. If there's mutual interest, you should start splitting the bill 50/50.

4. BE SAFE.
Now that you're ready to date, it's time to adhere to the safety guidelines: Meet in an open public place that is also cozy enough for the two of you to talk. Take your own car and don't reveal all of your personal business on the first date. Tell someone else where you're going and whom you'll be meeting. If your instinct tells you that something's wrong, leave.

5. CHECK AND EXCHANGE HIV INFORMATION.
If the relationship is getting serious, check and exchange HIV information. If he/she asks you how many sexual partners you've had, and what kind of sexual partners, tell the truth - and ask him/her the same questions. With AIDS increasing dramatically among Black men and women, including heterosexuals, it's almost suicidal not to take such precautions.

And if you happen upon a bad date, don't despair, just brush yourself off and get back into the groove - before Cupid changes the rules once again.

Interesting facts

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on back of the $5 bill.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous" -
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So, in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them to mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's."

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes, when you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "good night, sleep tight" came from.

The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WW II fighter pilots in the Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage.
If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the"General Purpose" vehicle, GP

The first toilet ever seen on television was on"Leave It To Beaver."

It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

The Art of Disagreeing by Roger Fisher

Disagreements are part of life - but they don't have to ruin relationships. Though you never really know when your interests, values, preferences and views will be in conflict with someone else's, you can control the tone and substance of your reactions and remain on friendly terms.

Take control of your emotions.
When we want events to go our way, such desires are often accompanied by strong emotions. If those emotions are strong enough, they can cloud rational thinking and lead us to frustration and anger.

Example: When we lose our tempers in a disagreement, the automatic reaction is to display anger - to show the other person that you feel strongly about the issue at hand.

But if you can feel your anger before you blow up, you are more likely to control it and allow the disagreement to be resolved.
Strategy: Instead of raising your voice or pacing, lower your voice. Then take a deep breath. Slow down.

Understand the other person - and his/her position.

Before you begin to disagree, try to understand and appreciate how the other person views the situation. This will help you keep your cool.

Strategy: Make believe you are the other person. Ask yourself why he might be taking his position. What might be causing those reactions?

The result is that you may become more willing to compromise during your disagreement. If not, you'll certainly find it easier to air your position in a calm, personal way.

Communicate more effectively.
Even if your solution or point of view is better than the other person's position, nothing poisons a disagreement faster than confused thoughts and faulty logic. Both lead quickly to misunderstandings and mutual disrespect.

Example: A long, uninterrupted monologue - in which you dictate to the other person what you want - is a bad way to disagree.
Instead of a lecture, have a conversation in which you each have a chance to present your views - and respond.

Persuade don't coerce.
Attempting to bully someone into agreement with you almost always leaves hard feelings, even if you have sugarcoated your demands.

Use persuasion, which is a good-faith attempt to convince with logic. It is always better in the long run.

Example: Start by saying, I've invested a lot of time thinking about this, and I would like you to hear me out.

Then go on to logically state your case.

34 Kinder, Gentler Ways to Say Someone is Stupid (humor)

1. A few clowns short of a circus
2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal
3. An experiment in artificial stupidity
   
4. A few beers short of a six-pack
   
5. Dumber than a box of hair
   
6. A few peas short of a casserole
   
7. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box
   
8. The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead
   
9. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl
   
10. One taco short of a combo plate
    
11. A few feathers short of a whole duck
    
12. All foam, no beer
    
13. The cheese slid off the cracker
    
14. Body by Fisher - Brains by Mattel
    
15. Has an IQ of 2 and it takes 3 to grunt
    
16. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
    
17. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
    
18. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
    
19. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
    
20. As smart as bait
    
21. Chimney's clogged
    
22. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash
    
23. Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair
    
24. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor
    
25. Forgot to pay his brain bill
    
26. Her sewing machine's out of thread
    
27. His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels
    
28. His belt doesn't go through all the loops
    
29. If he had another brain it would be lonely
    
30. Missing a few buttons on his remote control
    
31. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
    
32. Receiver is off the hook
    
33. Skylight leaks a little
    
34. Too much yardage between the goal posts

The Best Day Of My Life

Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is the best day of my life, ever! There were times when I wondered if I would make it to today...but I did! And because Idid, I'm going to celebrate!

Today, I'm going to celebrate what an unbelievable life I have had so far, the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make me stronger.

I will go through this day with my head held high and with a happy heart. I will marvel at God's seemingly simple gifts--the morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, and the birds. Today, none of these miraculous creations will escape my notice.

Today, I will share my excitement for life with other people. I'll make someone smile. I'll go out of my way to perform an unexpected act of kindness for someone I don't even know.

Today, I'll give a sincere compliment to someone who seems down. I'll tell a child how special they are, and I'll tell someone just how deeply I care for them, and how much they mean to me.

Today is the day I am grateful for all the wonderful things God has already given me. I'll remember that to worry is just a waste of time because my faith in God, and HIS Divine Plan ensures everything will be just fine.

Tonight, before I go to bed, I'll go outside and raise my eyes to the heavens. I will stand in awe at the beauty of the stars and the moon, and I will praise God for these magnificent treasures.

As the day ends and I lay my head down on my pillow, I will thank the Almighty for the best day of my life. And I will sleep the sleep of a contented child, excited with expectation because I know tomorrow is going to be...The Best Day Of My Life!

Have a blessed day!

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