Living successfully Newsletter, Issue 5

Issue 5-- May 1, 2000

MAY

In this issue...

Welcome
Managing Stress
Goal Setting for Dating
Humor
Did You Know?
Success Quotes
A Tribute to Mothers

Thank-you for subscribing to Living Successfully. Living Successfully is a Quarterly Motivational Newsletter designed to inform, inspire, and empower people to live successful lives----personally and professionally. Each issue offers inspirational messages and quotes, success tips, entertainment, humor and more. For a FREE subscription to Living Successfully, click here.

WARNING: LIVING SUCCESSFULLY MAY PRODUCE MOTIVATION, HIGHER SELF-ESTEEM, PERSONAL GROWTH, SELF-IMPROVEMENT, POSITIVE ATTITUDE, LOVE, LAUGHTER, HAPPINESS, AND SMILES!

Leon Shepherd, Editor
leon@leonshepherd.com

Understanding and Managing Stress

by Leon Shepherd

Does your heart beat wildly when your manager say's he'd like to see you in his office? Does your head start pounding trying to do to many things at once? Do you get the jitters or sweaty palms when addressing a group?

If you have answered yes to any or all of the above, you have identified a negative reaction to what is commonly known as stress. Wherever you are, you cannot escape it; stress is a part of daily life. Everyday there are responsibilities, obligations, and pressures that challenge you. In response to these daily strains your body automatically increases blood pressure, heart rate, respiration, metabolism, and blood flow to muscles. However when this natural response is prolonged or triggered too often without sufficient adjustments to counter its effects, that's when stress sets in and can threaten your health and well-being. Furthermore, stress grows!

Excessive worry is a major element in the vicious cycle of tension: the physical sensations of stress-building muscles, headaches, insomnia and so forth, lead to stress-building thoughts, which in turn aggravate unpleasant physical feelings. Soon, just the thought of preparing an assignment or meeting a deadline, triggers all the symptoms of stress along with an overwhelming wish to avoid tasks. It is known that:

* Some 75-90% of physicians visits are stress related.
* Job stress is a major health factor costing businesses an estimated $150 billion annually.
* Stress-related disorders are a major cause of rapidly increasing health care costs.

Is Stress Beneficial?

It may surprise you, but stress can be a good thing. It can help us feel energized and productive, motivate us, and help us do our best work. Often times a lot of creative and wonderful things can happen under stress. Bursts of stress release hormones and activate the nervous system, sharpening our senses and raising alertness. For example, remember in school when the teacher would announce,''This morning we are going to have a pop quiz!'' The very thought of a surprise test would immediately cause many students stress. However, this kind of stress, also would make students use their full mental capabilities to do their very best on the test. Stress is the body's response to a threat (real or imagined). It is a chemical reaction within the body. Stressors are things(people,events,places) that an individual perceives as threats. How do you know if you're suffering from stress? According to the National Mental Health Association, there are eight questions that determine if you suffer from stress.

Stress-Related Questions

1. Do minor problems and disappointments upset you excessively?

2. Do the small pleasures of life fail to satisfy you?

3. Are you unable to stop thinking about your worries?

4. Do you feel inadequate or suffer from self-doubt?

5. Are you constantly tired?

6. Do you experience flashes of anger over situations that did not previously bother you?

7. Have you noticed a change in sleeping or eating patterns?

Managing Stress

One of the main causes of stress is known as commuter stress--the stress of ''getting there.'' Whether you're going to work or coming home after a long day, sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic can be stressful. Having lived in the Los Angeles area for the past 17 years, I've had more than my share of commuter stress. The good news, however, is that while we may not be able to avoid this type of stress, there are some things you can do to reduce its emotional impact. The following are tips to help you reduce your reaction to commuter stress:

* Try to take alternative routes, such as side streets.
* Listen to relaxing music.
* Listen to books on tape.
* Leave 15 or 20 minutes earlier (or later) to avoid the rush hour.
* Before leaving home or work, listen to traffic reports.
* Remind yourself that it is unproductive to become upset over factors or situations over which you have no control.

There are other things you can do to relieve stress in general. One is to develop a healthy life style--good nutrition, plenty of rest, and regular exercise. Good nutrition and getting enough sleep will improve your physical well being, and that can change attitudes.

Regular exercise is a popular way to relieve stress because it provides an outlet that lowers tension.

Learn how to relax your body and emotions by focusing your attention on more peaceful thoughts, or by pursuing a hobby. Take a break from your worries by doing something you enjoy. Practice letting go. Being able to let go is the best buffer against excessive anger and, above all, develop a sense of humor.

Laughter is the best medicine, so laugh it up.

Always think positively, because positive thinking produces positive feelings. At the same time, be realistic. Make sure your expectations are fair and reasonable. Shed the urge to be superman or superwoman. No one is perfect, so don't expect perfection from yourself or others.

Manage your time effectively so you won't feel rushed, and be clear that your job is not you. You are a person with a job, but you also have other important things in your life--your family and friends.

As I stated earlier, stress is a part of life. You can't get away from it. The key is to learn how to manage and control it, so that you will be able to live a happy, healthy, and productive live.

Success Quotes

None of us can change our yesterdays, but all of us can change our tomorrows!
- Colin Powell

Adversity can either break you or make you. The same hammer that breaks the glass, also sharpens the steel.
- Bob Johnson, President of BET

Is there anything worse than blindness? Yes! Eyesight...but no vision!
- Helen Keller

When individuals rise above their circumstances and use problems to push them to become more, they grasp greatness.
- Nelson Mandella

Imagine what a harmonious world it could be if every single person, both young and old, shared a little of what he is good at doing.
- Quincy Jones

Your attitude about who you are and what you have is a very little thing that makes a very big difference.
- Theodore Roosevelt

You get what you expect.
- Alvin Ailey

What makes you think the world owes you something?
- Gwendolyn Brooks

No matter what you can see, there is always more.
- Dennis Kimbro, Motivational Speaker

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is a process; working together is success.
- Henry Ford '

'The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer.''
- Psalm 18:2

A Tribute to Mothers

Your gentle guidance has immeasurably influenced all that we have done, all that we do, and all that we will ever do. Your sweet spirit is indelibly imprinted on all that we have been, all that we are, and all that we will ever be. Thus, you are a part of all that we accomplish and all that we become.

And so it is that when we help our neighbor, your helping hand is there also. When we ease the pain of a friend, the friend owes a debt to you. When we show a child a better way, either by word or by example, You are the teacher once removed.

Because everything we do reflects values learned from you, any wrong that we right, any heart we may brighten, any gift that we share, or burden we may lighten, is in its own small way a tribute to you.

Because you gave us life, and more importantly, lessons in how to live, you are the wellspring from which flows all good we may achieve in our time on earth.

For all that you are and all that we are, we thank you, and wish you a blessed Mother's Day.

Goal Setting For Dating

by Anita Lawson

Even dating, as scary as it is for some singles, lends itself to the goal-setting process.

Dating is going to be a major step in reaching your relationship goals. Therefore, your setting must include the dating scene. What is dating, anyway? Basically dating is anything two people do to spend time together.

It is normally done to learn more about each other. Dating should also be entertaining, enjoyable, and done with someone you like. A date, like any other goal, starts with a purpose:
* A particular person who is attractive to you
* An activity you would enjoy, such as a concert or the symphony or even a wild night of dancing with the perfect partner.

ACTIVITY: If you have an activity in mind, you would try to find a date who would enjoy the same entertainment or activity. Obviously, you are not going to ask someone who does not dance for a wild night of dancing. With a definite activity, you can just ask desirable singles to participate until one says, ''Yes.'' Simple goal, easily reached?

PERSON: However, if you start with another single person in mind, then you need to start by clarifying why you want to date this person. If you want a romantic evening, then you need a romantic atmosphere and the chance to be alone. If you want to get to know your date better, then you need a quiet spot for conversation. If you want to enjoy each other's company, many activities would suffice. Your creativity can go wild here or you can just hang out together all day with no particular prior plans. Once you have a purpose for your date, you need to explore your options. Start with a list you prepare by:

*Consulting the many entertainment guides available.
* Brainstorming
* Listening to the person you want to date. * Thinking about successful past dates.
* Asking friends for suggestions.

Narrow your options based upon the goal you hope to achieve on this date. But...you also want your date to be comfortable. In fact, he/she must be comfortable to accept the date.

Suggestion: After you have narrowed the options to two or three activities, let your date have the final say. This will allow your date to choose based on his/her comfort level.

Life is so much easier and so much more successful when goals are set, individual steps are planned, and that first step is taken down the road to the final goal. There is almost no part of life that does not lend itself well to goal setting.

A Few Things Not to Say to a Cop (humor)

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, I didn't realize that my radar detector wasn't on.
3. Aren't you the guy from the village people.
4. Hey you must have been going 125mph just to keep up with me.
5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop.
6. Bad cop! No donut!
7. You're gonna check the trunk, aren't you?
8. I was going to be a cop, really, but I decided to finish high school.
9. I pay your salary.
10. That's terrific, the last guy only gave me a warning also.
11. Is that a 9mm? It's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!
12. What do you mean, have I been drinking? You're a trained specialist.
13. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.
14. That gut doesn't inspire too much confidence, bet I can outrun you.
15. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?
16. Is it true people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
17. I was trying to keep up with traffic.
18. Yes, I know there are no other cars around-- that's how far they are ahead of me. 19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

Working more than one job, getting less than six hours of sleep and driving in the wee hours increase the chance of nodding off behind the wheel, says the first study of what causes sleep related crashes.

The study, looked at 1,403 North Carolina drivers and found that among those who got into accidents last year, half had slept less than six hours the night before the crash. On average, they got 35 to 40 minutes less sleep per night than those who didn't get into accidents.

Drowsy drivers were almost twice as likely to be working more than one job and four to five times more likely to be working the night shift.

David K. Willis, president of the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety, which sponsored the study, said most experts believe sleep deprivation may be to blame for up to 15 percent of crashes, including about 6,000 deaths annually.

Long life wears a smile.

The Mayo Clinic reports that optimistic people live about 19% longer than pessimists. ''It tells us that mind and body are linked and that attitude has an impact on the final outcome, death,'' says Toshihkiko Maruta, a psychiatrist who lead the research. The 839 Minnesotans studied were among a group given a personality survey between 1962 and 1965 that detected how people habitually explain the causes of life's events. The study then classified them as optimists, pessimists or a bit of both. Thirty years later they were compared against their expected survival rates. The report suggested that optimists may be more positive in seeking medical help and taking care of themselves.

The following is to help you to remain positive:

Choose to love
- rather than hate.

Choose to smile
- rather than frown.

Choose to build
- rather than destroy.

Choose to persevere
- rather than quit.

Choose to praise
- rather than gossip.

Choose to heal
- rather than wound.

Choose to give
- rather than grasp.

Choose to act
- rather than delay.

Choose to forgive
- rather than curse.

Living Successfully motivates, informs and entertains to help make life more fulfilling and fun!

Each issue offers inspirational messages and quotes, success tips, entertainment, humor and more.

The newsletters purpose is to inform, inspire, and empower people to live successful lives---personally and professionally.

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Leon Shepherd
Editor/Publisher
Living Successfully
Website: http://www.leonshepherd.com
E-Mail: leon@leonshepherd.com

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