Living successfully Newsletter, Issue 6

Issue 6-- June 1, 2000

JUNE

In this issue...

Welcome
Power of Forgiveness
Love is...
Humor
Success Quotes
Creed for Optimists

Thank-you for subscribing to Living Successfully. Living Successfully is a Quarterly Motivational Newsletter designed to inform, inspire, and empower people to live successful lives----personally and professionally. Each issue offers inspirational messages and quotes, success tips, entertainment, humor and more. For a FREE subscription to Living Successfully, click here.

WARNING: LIVING SUCCESSFULLY MAY PRODUCE MOTIVATION, HIGHER SELF-ESTEEM, PERSONAL GROWTH, SELF-IMPROVEMENT, POSITIVE ATTITUDE, LOVE, LAUGHTER, HAPPINESS, AND SMILES!

Leon Shepherd, Editor
leon@leonshepherd.com

The Power of Forgiveness

by Leon Shepherd

Just say the word ''forgive'' and for some people you'll receive a quick response: ''Are you kidding?'' or ''Never'' or ''Not after what he's done!'' We all have stories of people whom we have entrusted, only to learn later that these people have lied, deceived or misled us.

Regardless of your story, forgiving is essential for your growth, it allows you not to be a prisoner to the past.

It gives you peace of mind, and lightens the load you carry on your way to the top. Unfortunately, forgiving is not always easy. In some cases it's very difficult. Believe me, I know.

A few years ago, I was scheduled to be a guest speaker at the Los Angeles Black Business Expo. Because of the enormity of the event, I paid a guy (whom I'll refer to as John) a handsome fee to video tape my Motivational Presentation. John had a very impressive resume , appeared to be very professional, and guaranteed his work. Unfortunately, John turned out to be a very big disappointment. He failed to deliver what he had promised. I reminded John about his guarantee, and he assured me that I would receive my refund check within five days. After ten days, I still had not received the check. When I attempted to give John a call, his number was disconnected. When I drove to his place of business, it was empty. John had vanished without a trace. Needless to say, I was not happy with the way things turned out with John. But I felt there was no point dwelling on something that I couldn't change. So I decided to put the incident behind me and learn from the experience.

The incident didn't cross my mind again until five months later. It happened Sunday morning while I was at church. I was sitting up front where I normally sit, when lo and behold, guess who sits next to me? That's right, John. When John sat next to me, I continued to look straight ahead. I definitely didn't want to establish eye contact with this guy. So I started looking for a seat somewhere else. No such luck. John had taken the last seat, the seat next to me.

The tension really mounted when Reverend Murray said,'' Everyone stand up and give your neighbor a hug.'' John was on my left, so of course I hugged the person on my right. What made the situation awkward, was that John's seat was at the end of the pew. He didn't have anyone to hug. I was the only person next to him.

Out the corner of my eye, I noticed that John had turned slightly in my direction. Thoughts started racing through my head. Do I just look straight ahead as if he doesn''t exist? Do I sit back down and completely ignore him? What should I do? Suddenly I realized something. Here I am a Christian, in church, wondering if I should give someone a hug. I started to feel like a hypocrite. Especially after I reflected on Reverend Murray's sermon a few weeks ago,''God won't forgive those who won't forgive others.'' I immediately turned to John and gave him a hug.

And I must admit, after I hugged him, I felt better. It was like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. At that moment, I learned a very important lesson. I learned that forgiving is not only my duty as a Christian, but the only way that I can be free. As long as you allow it, the person who hurt you controls your present.

Many times, the burdens of anger and bitterness can prevent us from achieving our goals, or being the best that we can be.

I'd like to clear up some misconceptions about forgiveness. Forgiveness is not condoning negative, inappropriate behavior such as abuse, violence or dishonesty. Forgiveness is not acting or pretending everything is fine, when you know it isn't. Forgiveness does not mean you feel that it's O.K. with the way you've been mistreated. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean you forget. For example, when I forgave John, it's important that I remember how unprofessional he was so that I won't ever consider using his services again.

Forgiveness is essential for your peace of mind and for your growth as a person. By holding on to anger and resentment, you become a prisoner of the past. As soon as you forgive, you start accepting responsibility for your future. You'll become happier, healthier, more secure, and more prosperous. And the day you do, you'll understand the power of forgiveness.

Success Quotes

If you could pray for anything, let it be for an idea.'' - Percy Sutton (President, Inner City Broadcasting) '

'There aren't really enough crutches in the world for all the lame excuses.'' - Bill Cosby

''It's pretty hard for the Lord to guide you if you haven't made up your mind which way you want to go.'' - Madame C.J.Walker, (Entrepreneur)

''Most people search high and wide for the key to success. If they only knew the key to their dreams lies within.'' - George Washington Carver

''The best way to fight poverty is with a weapon loaded with ambition.'' - Septima Clark (Educator)

''The secret to success is to learn to accept the impossible, to do without the indispensable, and to bear the intolerable.'' - Nelson Mandella

''No one can figure out your worth but you.'' - Pearl Bailey (Singer) '

' Destiny lies not in the stars, but in the hearts.'' - William Brown (Novelist) '

'I don't care where you came from, I want to know where you are going.'' - Andrew Young (Former U.S. Ambassador)

'' Some of us aren't prepared to except success, especially someone else's.'' - Sarah Vaughan (Jazz Legend)

'' For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.'' - Matthew 6:14

Creed for Optimist

Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

Make all your friends feel there is something special in them.

Look at the sunny side of everything.

Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best.

Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements of the future.

Give everyone a smile.

Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others.

Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.

Love is a Three- Legged Stool

by Anita Lawson

In order to live with someone for a long time you have to have the three C's: the really important attributes which attract and hold people together. These are:

1. Chemistry: defined (for lack of a better definition) as physical and personality attractiveness plus sexual desirability.

2. Compatibility: defined as shared interests and shared social-economic-cultural status.

3. Common values: defined as character and ethics.

Think of these attributes as forming a three-legged stool.

You can lust after someone who does not share your interests or values. You have no chance of a long-term relationship here.

You can share interests with someone who sends nary a spark flying. You have a better chance here as desire (chemistry) can grow.

The last leg of the stool is common values. It is hard to respect and trust someone who does not share your values. Without respect and trust, love eventually dies.

Successful dating and relating is shared by two people who have something to offer each other. If you make a fairly accurate inventory of where you stand in each of these three key dimensions, you'll know what you have to offer.

Frequently, however, the unrealistic of both sexes begin their dating efforts by either/or Greatly underestimating themselves Greatly overestimating themselves.

The inflated ones often think they should be dating the reigning beauty queen or some rich and handsome Adonis.

The deflated singles often go out with people demonstrating behavior patterns and other characteristics that are unacceptable to them. They might make an effort to change this person into acceptable relationship material or come to the conclusion that '' the good ones are gone.''

The unrealistic repeat unacceptable relationships or spend time with their VCR and same-sex friends.

So, right now, before we go further, complete the inventory of you below. After you list your attributes, try to put them in the perspective of the opposite sex. Bear in mind that men rarely understand what women consider physically attractive or sexually desirable and vice versa. Men often think women want the same things they want and women make the same mistake. Maybe an opposite-sex friend could help you get a better perspective.

Look at the personal ads for guidance. Men often describe their appearance; women rarely describe their appearance because they don't consider it as important as men do. Women often describe emotional attributes; men rarely do. Again, men don't realize how important these traits are to women. Women rarely understand just how visual and sexual men are.

Once you have an accurate inventory of what you have to offer, you are ready to embark on a realistic search for a special person.

Personal Inventory

Take a few minutes to take inventory by determining your strengths and weaknesses.

Divide a sheet of lined paper into three columns. Label the columns '' Strengths,'' ''Weaknesses, '' '' Perspective.''

Divide the sheet into six categories:

Personality, Interests, Character & Values, Socio-Economic-Cultural, Physical Attractiveness, Sexual Desirability

List several strengths and weaknesses for each category. List equal number of strengths and weaknesses for each category.

After you list your attributes, try to put them in the perspective of the opposite sex. Maybe an opposite-sex friend could help you get better perspective.

25 Things to really annoy people (humor)

1. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

2. Specify that your drive-through order is '' to go.''

3. Sing along at the opera.

4. Reply to everything someone says with '' that's what YOU think.''

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions '' to keep them tuned up.''

6. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

7. Honk and wave to strangers.

8. Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

9. As much as possible skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what gender they are.

11. While people are talking to you, make a big display of looking up their nose.

12. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

14. Tell your friends four days prior that you can't go to their party because you're not in the mood.

15. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

16. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

17. type only in lowercase.

18. don t use any punctuation either

19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

20. Say '' Gesundteit'' to people who don't sneeze. When they question you tell them you foresaw a sneeze coming.

21. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

22. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green and insist to others that you '' like it that way.''

23. Disassemble your pen and '' accidentally'' flip the cartridge across the room.

24. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in a notebook. Mutter something about '' psychological profiles.''

25. Send this list to everyone in your email address book even if they've asked you not to send things like this.

Living Successfully motivates, informs and entertains to help make life more fulfilling and fun!

Each issue offers inspirational messages and quotes, success tips, entertainment, humor and more.

The newsletters purpose is to inform, inspire, and empower people to live successful lives---personally and professionally.

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Leon Shepherd
Editor/Publisher
Living Successfully
Website: http://www.leonshepherd.com
E-Mail: leon@leonshepherd.com

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